I believe yes, they are. In some countries women or men are more "possessive", "traditional", and "exclusive" (e.g. Mediterranean countries), and in other countries affairs outside marriage are not so important (e.g. North European countries)
Which country is yours? And, what is your position in this? I personally do not have a specific position in this topic, it all depends on the circumstances. For me, it is a matter of the person you are with, how you both understand a relationship.
I have been jealous sometimes, open-minded others...I don't know why, but in my case it all depends on so many factors that I cannot provide a specific point of view. For me, betrayal consists of lying, of breaking someone's trust and confidence. If an affair does not involve lying, it is not so important for me.
I could consider certain attitudes as much more offending than an affair if they involve lying and being disrespectful towards the relationship. For example: if my boyfriend seduces every woman he meets on my back (or even in front of my eyes) I will feel much more offended than if he comes one day and tells me that he just had a one-night stand with someone else. Feeling attraction towards someone else is inevitable and I can forgive easily if a mistake is just a matter of uncontrolled impulses. However, lying is done premeditatedly, and there is no excuse for this. It just stems from cowardice. We all have fear, what makes a woman or a man courageous is how she or he can handle that fear.
Here I give you the link to the blog entry of a divorce expert: she does not tell anything new, but it is good to remember some of the essential points in a healthy relationship:
Why is a love affair so intoxicating?
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