10.13.2014

Are love affairs a matter of cultural differences?

I believe yes, they are. In some countries women or men are more "possessive", "traditional", and "exclusive" (e.g. Mediterranean countries), and in other countries affairs outside marriage are not so important (e.g. North European countries)
Which country is yours? And, what is your position in this? I personally do not have a specific position in this topic, it all depends on the circumstances. For me, it is a matter of the person you are with, how you both understand a relationship.
I have been jealous sometimes, open-minded others...I don't know why, but in my case it all depends on so many factors that I cannot provide a specific point of view. For me, betrayal consists of lying, of breaking someone's trust and confidence. If an affair does not involve lying, it is not so important for me.
I could consider certain attitudes as much more offending than an affair if they involve lying and being disrespectful towards the relationship. For example: if my boyfriend seduces every woman he meets on my back (or even in front of my eyes) I will feel much more offended than if he comes one day and tells me that he just had a one-night stand with someone else. Feeling attraction towards someone else is inevitable and I can forgive easily if a mistake is just a matter of uncontrolled impulses. However, lying is done premeditatedly, and there is no excuse for this. It just stems from cowardice. We all have fear, what makes a woman or a man courageous is how she or he can handle that fear.

Here I give you the link to the blog entry of a divorce expert: she does not tell anything new, but it is good to remember some of the essential points in a healthy relationship:

Why is a love affair so intoxicating?

Enjoy!


Leave your comments below!

7 comments:

  1. Certainly! I´m according about relationships depends on people. In my case, I have a little bit bipolar minds because, for the one hand, I know it´s natural my wife can feels attraction for another man, I don´t even see it be so bad when it happen another couples, for the other hand my instincts and guts say me I´ll hurt if that I happen to me. My worst trouble is I don´t think so niether open-minds nor uncontrolled impulses because it´s can always say not. Everyone what are infidel and do it one time I sure that person will repeat. For me, affair outside marriage is anyway lie because since I was born I learnt that love and sex are join, they don´t split, so than if my wife just has a one-night stand with someone else, for me, it mean she doesn´t love me, at least not as before.

    Pd: I´m sorry for mistakes, bye.

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    1. I understand your «bipolarity», I've been there too!

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  2. Hello I'm an english student and I'm spanish, in my opinion, what this text says is just a topic because not only in mediterranean countries people is possessive or jealous. On the one hand could be said that every person is different and no matters where are you from if don't what are you like. On the other hand, being in a relationship is complicated if you are a jelaous or possessive person because you suffer and your couple too. The best thing is always trust on your girlfriend or boyfriend, is psycologically much healthier although sometimes you can be cheated, but as I said before every person is different and have a different concept of a relationship, but life is away what you have to walk trough and livin is part of it.

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    1. There are some differences according to my own experience, but it is true that we shouldn't generalize

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  3. Hi Ana,
    I couldn't agree more. Speaking from myself, I would say that even your age is important.
    As you, I have been jealous sometimes. When the typical insecurity of teenagers, stupidly, makes you see every woman as a threat.
    Luckily, nowadays I can say that I fully trust that if my husband decided, as me, that we should spend the rest of our lives together, that means love.

    For me loyalty and trust means everything in a couple, and I'm afraid I wouldn't feel at ease if he cheated on me, even only once.
    I guess I have a "traditional" position...

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    1. I would say your position is very natural...

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  4. Thank you all for your comments!

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